Imposing ban on subsidy

The title is only suited for government funded projects but it some ways, it is also appropriate to my posting. Before leaving to the Philippines for my annual vacation, my sister Neneng Girl told terrible news. She said that my younger brother Nonoy has been asking money from my mother, quite often that she ended up having no money to buy her medicine. I’m a single guy and I don’t have a family to support. I however felt that I have a duty to my mother so I send her money on a monthly basis.

The purpose of that subsidy as they call it is for her to have money to buy her medicine, allowance for the household expenses and an emergency fund. When I learned from my sister that she has no money left in her bank account, I wasn’t upset actually but I felt that the purpose why the money was sent to her in the first place was defeated.

My younger brother was given 3 opportunities to earn a living but he blew them all out. My parents enrolled him to a Marine Engineering School but after four years of studying in a two year course program, he quit. When my Dad was still alive, he almost went to Taiwan to work there but took the placement fee and eloped with his girlfriend. Two years ago, he decided to go back to school but after a year quit decided to quit. He is now a family man with two kids to feed but has no income. He farmed the five hectares that my father gave him as a legacy but couldn’t afford the operating expenses of his farm.

This is where my mother enters the scene. She loves her youngest son too much that she felt that she had to support him. The problem is, she’s not just supporting Nonoy’s farm but she also supports the two children’s education. I was always against the idea of my mother supporting Nonoy’s children’s education. It’s not a grandparent’s responsibility to send their grandchildren to school, period. The parents had done their part in giving education to their children. If their children (in our case, Nonoy) did not study well, it’s not their fault. Even God said that he will help only those who help themselves. Nonoy has been so dependent and abusive to the point of dictating which school his children should be enrolled. I don’t know why he was so against sending his children to a public school when school is not an issue. Being sent to a private school is not a guarantee to success. Besides, there are so many successful people who only went to a public school. Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago is the best example of those sent to a public school but excelled. As for the farm, my mother gave money but during harvest, she never receives anything. The least that she could receive is returning the money that she gives away. However, nothing of that sort happened.

My mother is generous but because of that she was abused. How could a retiree who receives monthly pension from the government and from me lost all her money? She could not answer me where her money went. She’s still protecting her beloved youngest child. I’ve come up with the conclusion that the best way for me to deal with this issue is to stop her monthly subsidy. If I stop sending her the monthly subsidy, she’ll only have a pension. She will not be able to support Nonoy and his children. She’ll be forced to say no. I am doing this because I love her. I have to be cruel in order to be kind. I felt responsible for my mother that’s why I’m doing this.

My plan now is to still send the money but this time to my Sister Bam’s account. I told her to keep the money and save it for emergency. My mother is now 68 years old and we have to have money in case she’ll be hospitalized. It’s better that we have the money in hand rather than Nonoy spending them all.