Sad :(

In this posting I will try to avoid the use of the pronoun.  

Let’s just call this person Orange as reference. I was just being myself when I choose to reject the apparent developing relationship with Orange.  I was thinking of the possible heartaches I will be dealing if Orange leaves the Kingdom of the Sands in five months’ time.  I kept my distance and avoided intimacy.  Orange never suspected anything strange for the past weeks.

I was surprised last Sunday morning when Orange told me that they (I’m avoiding using pronoun again) along those who complained to the Saudi Labor Office are being sent home.  Orange asked to see me for the last time that evening.  I was busy assisting the training the whole day but rushed home to see Orange.  We talked a lot and I advised Orange (again avoiding the pronoun) that should they reach Manila, they should just go back to their respective hometowns.   What they were planning was to log a complaint to the POEA and the DOLE against the agent that sent them for contract violation.  I told Orange that filing a case and waiting for the case resolution would just be a waste of time and money.  The best thing that they could do is to, as I’ve suggested, go home, take the needed rest and reapply for another job elsewhere in the world.

After we ate our dinner, I let Orange go.  When Orange left, I just couldn’t express how I felt.  Sadness filled my heart but on the other hand, happy because Orange can finally leave hell.  The following day was not better either.  Today’s day three and I’m still sad.  I am beginning to think that I really love Orange. 

I told D and Nilo about it and they just said arte lang iyan LOL.

Forcing yourself on people

“You don’t force yourself on people.  If you do, you have a void in your life that you want to fill… and that’s sad.” 

I don’t force myself on people.  I've already come to a point where I’m tired of pleasing others.  I've been through hell and back and if today is the last day of my existence, I will not spend it pleasing others who do not care about me.  Don’t get me wrong though.  I’m not mean and I don’t want to be mean to people who did not do anything to me.  If I can get rid and cut ties with some of my family members, it’ll be easier to cut ties with people whom I just met here in the Kingdom of the Sands.

I don’t force myself on people because I don’t owe my existence to them.  It was thanks to God, and my parents that I was born in this world.  The lifestyle, monies, savings and all the goods that come to me are because of the company that I’m working for.  If I’m doing well with my career, they’re all thanks to my bosses and my hard work.  I’ve always prayed to God that I’ll be generous and I think, in my own way, I am.  And by the way, whatever I’m enjoying today could also be taken away, I just don’t know when, but since I’m in Saudi Arabia, that’s the main reason why I’m always preparing for the worst.

I just have one advice to whoever you are, you can’t bring me down.  I’ve seen worst, I’ve been through hell and what you are doing and what you can do is nothing compared to what I’ve been through.  I’m a survivor.  Your words and actions can’t hurt me. I’m made of stone.  If you have pride, show it and don’t be selective.  Just so you remember: You often forget your pride once it is convenient to you.