Letter to Dad

Dear Dad,

Last 16 March 2012 was your 8^th Death Anniversary.  Wherever you are, I hope you’re okay.  Until now, I still could not believe that you’re gone.  Eight years had gone by too fast.  The more I think about it the more I missed your presence.  There are times that tears would just fall and I know because I missed you.  This year was a challenge for our family.  I think we’re crumbling.  We could not understand mother at all.  She’d changed a lot. 

Inday Bam has to leave because she was fed up.  When you left us, Inday Bam tried her best to fill in your shoes.  She worked hard for the farm and had to face all the problems that you left behind.  It wasn’t easy for her.  She gave up her career and the chance to get married.  She sacrificed herself for our farm and for us her siblings.  She may admit it to you or not but I guess there were regrets in her heart.  I don’t have the heart to stop her.  I’ve stopped her once and I don’t want her to spend her life for others any longer.  I admit that I was once selfish because I forced her to stay.   I don’t want her anymore to spend her life with regrets.

I love Mom but we can’t anymore understand her.  She can only think of her youngest son at the expense of others.  Her preferential treatment to her youngest son has wreaked havoc to the family.  She makes decisions without thinking that it would affect my other siblings.  I’ve been away for too long and I’ve seen the world.  I’ve grown too and I can’t tolerate unjustness.  I won’t abandon her though but my siblings and I have come to a consensus.  We’re giving her tough love.

Dad, I still wish you’re with us (Gosh, I’m teary eyed again).  You’ll know what to do with us.  We really miss your presence (free flowing tears).  There are times that life is tough here but I couldn’t leave.  I have to bear it because believe it or not, I haven’t saved enough.  I’ll still have to provide for mom and for some of my siblings who needed my support.  When times are tough, I could only think of your last words, that you’re worried that I may start from the scratch if I leave my company. 

Dad, you’ll be very proud of me because of my recent promotion.  I’ve worked really hard Dad, to get this promotion.  Thank you for instilling the value of hard work in me while I was growing up.  I hope that I’ve lived up to your expectations.  I promise, I’ll honor this job and I promise more to work harder for the people who believe in me.

It’s been 8 years since you’re gone but the pain is still there.  I’ve realized now that it wouldn’t go, just as long as your memory is in my heart.  Dad, please protect our family and the people who helped and will continue to help us.  I pray that you’re happy wherever you are right now.

Your loving son,