Dying Young

Last Hajj holidays I had a nightmare.  It wasn’t that scary so maybe that was just a dream.  A bad dream that is.  In my dream, I had a lung cancer, a terminal cancer.  In the dream, I went to Al Mana, Al Dossary and Saad just to be told that I only had 3 months to live.  I wasn’t crying or was depressed in my dream.  I then called my boss in Lebanon and told him that I have to exit the Kingdom right away.  He was asking me why and I told him that I had a terminal cancer and I want to go home since I don’t want to be in the freezer.  You see, when people die in Saudi Arabia, they will put him in the freezer until autopsy and other required papers are submitted. It also takes a while before the body could be transported to the home country.

Anyways, my boss said in my dreams to wait until his return but I told him that I could not wait for another 30 days since time is of essence. 

I remember giving away all my earthly belongings to my friends and filed an exit.  I then went back to the Philippines.  LOL.  My memory of that dream was vivid.  I did not go back home but instead went to a hospice in Quezon City.  I don’t know how the hell I was able to remember a hospice but I think I just want to spend my last days on earth there.  The reason why went to hospice was I don’t want to burden my family.  My instruction to the hospice was to call my sister when the time comes and cremate me right away.

I’ve always thought that I’ll die of lung illness.  I just don’t know what kind of lung disease though but I’m really certain about that.  I also think that I will die young.  Morbid thoughts again LOL.  If there’s something I hate about being a Filipino is our culture of burying our dead.  I mean, I just don’t like that dead people’s wakes are used to justify gambling such as mahjong. I also don’t like it when a person is displayed for the whole world to see for 7 days.  Why can’t we be like Muslims who buried their dead within one day?  No ceremonies but they’ll just wash the body with oils and wrap it in white cloth.  It’s very simple yet it’s more meaningful.  No dramas or whatever.