Losing a friend

I’ve been through hell and back but it still hurts to lose a friend. While I was still in the hospital last year I’ve heard from the grapevine that J. has been spreading rumors about my illness at our office. He was in fact reprimanded by the person who overheard him. I felt sad when I heard the news but I took it with a grain of salt. I told myself what is the worst thing that could happen to me when I’m already in hell. I told some of our common friends about it and was so surprised when I suddenly received an SMS from J. asking me whether I have issues ‘tampo’ about him. I never replied to his SMS because for me, it doesn’t merit any reply. I just pretended that nothing happened.

When I reported back to the office, he welcomed me and even gave me a dried mango from Cebu. He did not enter my office and on several occasions, he would keep his distance away from me. I was offended of his actions because it’s obvious that he dreaded ‘nandiriri’ being near me. I told some people close to me about J’s attitude towards me and they said that I should just ignore it. So I never reached out because I thought that the awkwardness we have for each other would just end.

Well, the awkwardness did not end because I finally realized that I’ve just lost a friend. Last Friday, I called him to pay for A’s remittance. J. asked me who’s calling him. I concluded that he had already deleted my number from his contacts. Yeah, it hurts to learn that the person you consider to be your friend has already deleted you from his contacts. The question I’m asking myself now is ‘should I just move on and forget or pick up and mend the pieces?’